I grew up in a religious culture where when something went wrong, or was hurtful, we were told to “offer it up”. It was an approach that I got little solace or comfort from. I understood it as a church thing connected in some way with martyrdom. By comparison to the martyrs of course, I clearly had no right to even worry about my relative lack of troubles and besides, they weren’t going to get me many heavenly brownie points next to a martyr's tally. I guess I didn't see God as much of a loving father figure. I heard it "offer it up" as stoicism and a cold order to “get over it”.
I choose to hear it differently these days. Now I hear “hand it over”- an invitation to let go and offer the burden to the Higher Power which has a much greater ability of holding whatever pain, hurt or worry I am bearing. These things may often only serve to oppress me and in offering it all up, I just might get to be my best self, have my stress relieved and perhaps be more available to anyone who might need me .
'Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest…..and you will find rest for your souls.’ -Matthew 11:28-30
My mum uses another mantra last thing at night “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in thee”
The first time I encountered the phrase above at an Anglican Sunday service for students in the middle of exam season.The minister’s sermon focussed on what he called the Chill Psalms- 23 and 121.
23:The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths... I will fear no evil,for you are with me;your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me... etc.
121:...the Maker of heaven and earth.... will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;... the Lord is your shade at your right hand; ... the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
I know these words resonate differently for different people. But since that day in Leeds, they remind me that I am not in charge and when I hand over control I am brought to a place of rest, sustenance and comfort. Also that I can rest easy because this loving Higher Power has got my back.
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