St Patrick's Confession

My faith is incomplete, I try to believe and take comfort from a bigger picture, an undying love of someone more powerful- beyond- us as humans. And so I like the prayer from Mark 9:24- "“I believe; help my unbelief!”

The excerpt from St. Patrick's confession below is comforting since it says that though I may not yet know, understand, trust or  even believe in God, He still loves, guides and cares for me.

My self-esteem isn't always the greatest- I can feel unworthy. Spotted this on another blog recently:

Giving makes us feel good. Receiving can, too, although we may also wonder if we’ve done enough to deserve a gift from a friend, relative, or even a complete stranger. Receiving can be an act of vulnerability; it can take humility to be a good receiver.

And so I'm back to humility as per previous post (for the overachiever). And vulnerability- This Brené Brown's TED talk on that really resonates for me. I  wear my heart on my sleeve a bit which can enhance that sense of vulnerability. Psalm 23 talks about where all one's enemies can see, God prepares for us a banquet and honours us and so "I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life; and your house will be my home as long as I live". I believe that it is through our fragility that we encounter a common humanity and can be truly compassionate. Doesn't mean it's not frightening but sure "Be not afraid, I am with you always"

So I keep trying

"...It was among foreigners that it was seen how little I was.

It was there that the Lord opened up my awareness of my lack of faith. Even though it came about late, I recognised my failings. So I turned with all my heart to the Lord my God, and he looked down on my lowliness and had mercy on my youthful ignorance. He guarded me before I knew him, and before I came to wisdom and could distinguish between good and evil. He protected me and consoled me as a father does for his son..."

http://www.confessio.ie/etexts/confessio_english#01